No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize