You really coming over, don't trick.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
