Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
