I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
