i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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