i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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