yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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