I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
