Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
