He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
last night I used snow as a chaser
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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