Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
