Kiss
Puke
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize