Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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