I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
