I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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