i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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