My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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