So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
