It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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