): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize