so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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