He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
