Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
