too bad you live with your parents still
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
