Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
