you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
