My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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