But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
