ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
