i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
