He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
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