I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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