if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
