If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
