i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
