the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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