i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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