TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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