Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
