the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize