did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
