3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
