Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
