i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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