I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
