shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
This is not my ceiling
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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