I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
