How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
