Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
