Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
