This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
