Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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