Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize