I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
