That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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