there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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