omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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