I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize