The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
